He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
