I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
