She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
