Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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