I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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