I seem to have left my pride at pride
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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