is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
