his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
