So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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