i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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