She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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