You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
