Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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