did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
