i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
A bitchslap is in order.
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