Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
