my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
