Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
