i can't believe i had my finger in that
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
