I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
