Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
