Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
