I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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