I showed him my bush... on skype.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
