I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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