Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just tell him i said nine months
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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