Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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