i think my tv is drunk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
