I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
