Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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