You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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