Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
