I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
