I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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