You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
