Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
