Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
