Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
