Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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