look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
