Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
