I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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