Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
