He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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