So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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