I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
