We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
