Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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