Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
