fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
